Survival Tactics for the Unemployed

I've been trying to get myself motivated to look for a job lately.

After all, one can't live on unemployment compensation. (Well, maybe if you're homeless or living out of your car.) When I was in my 20's, I could get by on unemployment because I shared an apartment and didn't even own a car.

Now that I'm in my 50's, life is a lot more complicated...mortgage, taxes, etc. I don't have car payments because I've been driving the same car for 15 years. Runs fine, looks like hell with the paint peeling off. At least I don't have to worry about fender benders. The interior still is pretty nice so I guess I could live in the car if I had to (only kidding!)

You'd be surprised, though, how you can get by on the cheap when you're not working. Here are some suggestions:

1. Save money on lunches. If you went out to lunch every day when you were working, just think about the money you save because now you can have lunch at home. That is, assuming you have food at home. But if you miss going out to lunch, you can always cruise the supermarkets for free samples. Really! On one visit alone, I sampled oranges in the produce department (made several trips to get enough pieces for one serving size). Tasted little pizza squares offered by an elderly woman making minimum wage. (Hey, there's a job!) Nibbled some pastry samples from the bakery. Sometimes you can get little scoops of ice cream. Hit enough supermarkets and you're set for the day.

2. Save money on gas. We all know that gas prices are at an all time high. Commuting to work could take a couple of tanks a week if you're driving a SUV (as if you really needed one of these gas hogs). No job, no commuting. Of course, you still need to buy some gas for cruising supermarkets. This is where you can use one of the dozen credit cards that you haven't maxed out. Find the "cheapest" station in town, fill up a half a tank and charge it. Gas prices go up and down every week so there's no need to blow your whole gas allowance on a tankful of the highest priced unleaded.

Another way you can save money on gas is to mow your lawn once a month. I mean, what person in his right mind is going to pay $2.50 for a gallon of gas to fill up their lawn mower? Okay, my neighbor who mows his lawn twice a week does, but he's got a job!

3. Buy your clothes at thrift shops. I'm not kidding. You can buy designer clothing at a fraction of the cost. So what if some rich lady wore the blouse once? It's clean, isn't it? And you also have the peace of mind that your meager purchase is going to help whatever charity that runs the store. And don't worry what the saleswoman thinks; she's most likely wearing clothes from the shop herself. And she has first pick!

Be creative and you, too, can come up with some great survival tactics for the unemployed.

Employees' Rights Are a Joke

What ever happened to employees' rights? Unless an employee is sexually harassed, discriminated against based on age, gender, national origin, etc., employers generally seem to think that employees can be treated without respect.

I just learned from Bertha Butts that my former employer is outsourcing some operations and letting employees go without advance notice.

What I particularly object to is the sneaky and cowardly way in which the employees are treated. Management does not warn or prepare employees ahead of time for the changes that could mean their jobs. You're there one minute and gone the next. If you're allowed to stay a few days to train someone else or finish a project, everyone acts as if you were persona non grata.

Your coworkers are told after you've been terminated, leaving them to wonder about their own job security. This tactic also has the effect of keeping employees in fear for their jobs and under control. The message is "You could be next." Bertha says Moleman has been hanging around her desk and giving her orders about things he knows nothing about. He has even been giving erroneous information which may result in clients getting pissed off. But, hey, that's why they outsourced the function. Now someone else can deal with disgruntled employees and clients and take the blame.

I read that GM is laying off 25,000 employees. Anybody know Michael Moore's phone number?

Snake Bite

Besides losing your job, you also lose your health care coverage. If you're covered by a spouse; hey, no sweat (unless your spouse loses his or her job too). But if you're like me, you don't have anyone but yourself to depend upon for health insurance.

Years ago, the federal government in all its wisdom sought to solve this problem by passing a law that allows employees to extend their health insurance coverage. Some clever congressmen named this law the Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act, or COBRA for short. I don't know how they come up with the names of these laws, but surely they could have figured something out besides the name of a snake.

My experience with COBRA, or as I shall call it, the Constipated Octopus Bloated Reconstituted Act (which makes about as much sense), started with a Very Importance Notice from my employer informing me "in a summary fashion" of my rights and obligations under COBRA, and that I "should take the time to read this notice." I pictured some anonymous HR employee wearing a summer frock while writing this crap. I read the 2-page notice written in teeny type sprinkled with bullets (if I only had a gun) and completed the paper work so I could enjoy the benefits of continued coverage.

A few days later, I received a form letter informing me that my monthly premium was a whopping $324.53. Ouch! This included a 2% administration fee. The amount was about equal to one week of unemployment benefits. I definitely felt as if I had been bitten by a snake.

The pain of writing the first check was to be shortly followed by the shock of the cost of filling a prescription ($160) before I received my new benefits card. After the pharmacist told me that it would probably take several weeks for my COBRA benefits to kick in, I got on the phone and called the COBRA Administrator at my former employer. She was on a leave of absence so I asked to talk to my friendly Benefits Specialist, Bertha Butts.

Thanks to Bertha's diligence, she was able to check the system to see if my coverage had taken effect (it had) and sent me a facsimile of my benefits card by email so I could get reimbursed for a large portion of my prescription. About a week or so later, the insurance company sent my card to me.

So now all I have to do is pay my COBRA insurance by the last day of the month... about the time that my mortgage payment is due. The COBRA coverage is available for up to 18 months. My unemployment compensation covers three months. Do the math. Either I find a job or marry a rich guy...or I drop dead before the money runs out.