Your Own Private Cell Phone Booth

Do you use your cell phone while using the restroom at work?

To my surprise, people really do this. I walked into the ladies' room at work the other day and heard a woman talking loudly on her cell phone in one of the stalls. What was she thinking? Or should I say, what was the person on the other end of line thinking when she heard toilets flushing? I don't even want to think about what else the woman was doing while she conversed on the phone. Talk about multi-tasking!

When I got back to my desk, I mentioned it to one of my female coworkers.

Me: Do you ever hear woman talking on the cell phone in the bathroom here at work?


Her: Oh yeah, people do it all the time.

I turned to my male coworker who overheard our conversation.

Me: Do men use their cell phones in the bathroom at work?

Him: (Nodding)

Me: At the urinal?!!

Him: ( Nodding again)

Well, I couldn't help but ask the same question of my pal Andy Davidson who works at another company.

Me: Andy, do guys use their cell phones in the bathroom at work?

Him: Oh, yeah.

Me: While they're using the urinal?

Him: Well, most of them use head sets because it's hard to zip up your pants when you're holding a cell phone.

To all of you who are guilty of this indiscretion, I hope the Toilet Patrol catch you or you drop your cell phone into the toilet/urinal after you've done your business!

Hand Washing Police

One of the things I don't like about working in an office is the lack of privacy.

You can't even go to the bathroom without being watched. It's bad enough having to share a toilet with other employees, even if they are women. It's altogether another thing to be lectured about personal hygiene.

An anonymous self-proclaimed protector of public hygiene and member of the Hand Washing Police, aka Toilet Patrol, who had seen women leaving the restroom without washing their hands posted a notice inside the restroom door:
"Wash Your Hands After Using the Restroom. Thoroughly rinse your hands with running water for 20 seconds."

Okay, I don't want some slob with hands carrying e.coli germs to touch my keyboard or mouse. But spare me from the tyranny of some OCD case who washes her hands 100 times a day.

I asked the other women in my department about the notice and learned that it was posted only in two of the restrooms in the entire building. We speculated that the perpetrator was most likely someone who worked on the same floor as the restrooms. So we blamed the Human Resources department.

Immediately we plotted to retaliate by defacing the notice, such as smudging it with dirty hands after changing the copier toner cartridge. No one wanted to think about the other alternative, which would require using the notice as toilet paper and flushing it down the toilet.

After a few days of loud protests, the notices vanished and we felt vindicated!